Sam Cruz’s Infallible Guide to Getting Girls by Tellulah Darling

Title: Sam Cruz’s Infallible Guide to Getting Girls

Author:Tellulah Darling

Published: October 17, 2012

Publisher: Te Da Media

Pages: 244

Goodreads Summary: Why the hell can’t chicks be more like guys?

That question plagues high school senior Sam Cruz. Sam is perfectly happy being a player. He just wishes girls wouldn’t change the game from sex to relationships. It makes him look like an asshole. But when Sam’s best friend, Ally Klinger, gets dumped, she begs him to transform her into someone who can screw around then screw off. No risk of heartbreak that way. It’s Sam’s chance to create the perfect female AND cheer up his best friend. Armed with Sam’s Three Step Guide to Backseat Success, Ally gets the game better than Sam thought she would and before long, Sam has his wish: the female version of himself. Too bad it’s driving him nuts. Told from Sam’s and Ally’s alternating POVs, Sam Cruz’s Infallible Guide to Getting Girls is a fast-paced romantic comedy that follows these teens as they navigate the minefield of sex, love, and friendship.

This book contains strong language, drinking, euphemisms, and lots of “bow chicka wow wow.”

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•  Christina really enjoyed this New Adult novel and places it on her second shelf.

**Note** An eGalley of this title was provided by the publishers via Net Galley. However, that did not influence this review in any way.

The Lowdown: Sam Cruz is your typical player, but he raises the game to a level where it almost becomes an art form, and he’s damn proud of this achievement. He shuns relationships, believing it’s better to get “in” and get out before the girl gets attached. In his ideal world, girls would have his causal approach to sex, both would be in it solely for a good time and then part ways with no hard feelings after the deed was done. It’d be hooking up without the heartache, and he wouldn’t be a jerk for wanting nothing more than a little powwow.

Enter Sam’s best friend and complete opposite in regards to perspective on relationships, Ally Klinger. She’s a girl that likes the idea of love and committed relationships. Or, at least that’s how she used to feel. Whey Ally gets dumped by her long-time boyfriend for another girl, Ally decides that loves is for losers and she wants to be a part of Sam’s “screw around and then screw off” team. You can’t exactly get your heart broken if you don’t stick around long enough to develop feelings for someone.

After a lot of begging on Ally’s part, Sam finally decides to take one for the team (that team being the entire male population) and create the perfect girl. But hey, even if she fails as bad as he thinks she will, at least it should help cheer her up and get her mind off the jerk that broke her heart.

Only it turns out that Ally isn’t bad at the game at all. Armed with Sam’s Three Step Guide to Backseat Success, she’s better at it then either of them ever expected her to be, and it might be Sam getting hurt because of it in the long run.

Author Ego-booster: For me, the greatest aspect of this book was how genuine the characters felt. They’re high school seniors and for the love of all the sparkling princesses, they acted like actual high school seniors. Their language was crude, often (like, a vast majority of the time) the topic of conversation was sex, and life outside of school revolved around fun, friends, and discussing what the future could hold. Told in alternating POV’s between Sam and Ally, you really got a grasp on who they were as people and what motivated their actions throughout the course of the story. What was exceptionally rewarding for me was that by the end, you saw each character come into their own and experience growth. They both learned hard truths about the type of person they were and I enjoyed tagging along for the ride.

Another thing about this story that had me tap-dancing with glee was all the humor. I’m a sucker for a book that can make me giggle or chuckle, and this novel had me literally laughing out loud through the whole thing. Sam and Ally’s banter was so funny that I was practically hanging on their every conversation. But our two main characters weren’t the only ones that brought the silliness; there’s a whole host of secondary characters that charmed their way into my heart with their amusing antics. Ms. Darling has earned herself a fan in me just for this accomplishment alone.

Drawbacks: Hmmm… I guess I wanted more of an explanation about Sam’s unwillingness to be in a relationship to be expanded on. It’s obvious in reading the book that he has some sort of emotional detachment and fear of commitment because of the loss of his mother at a young age and from observing his “player” dad. However, I feel like if the author would have dug a little deeper, we would’ve had a better understanding of why Sam became a player in the first place.

Special Notes: So, the sex in this book is like whoa! Seriously, there’s a lot of casual hooking up going on and they’re 17-18 years old, so if you feel like that’s something you can’t handle reading… I’m just here to hand out the friendly warning. For me, it wasn’t really that big of a deal. I may not have been the girl that settled for random good times at high school parties back in the day, but I was very aware that it was happening all around me. I’ve read a few reviews from some people that were put off by the idea of teenagers having so many one-night stands, but let’s be honest; these days there are thirteen-year-olds spitting out kids. So, all I can say is sex is happening, folks, and it’s best to teach your kids about safety. If it’s better for you to live in denial, that’s cool, but don’t get preachy to Ms. Darling because I really like her and hope she’ll stick around for a while.

Verdict: The “I Love You” moment at the end was the most heartfelt and honest one that I’ve read in a really long time. I laughed until I cried in some parts. I rooted for these characters like you wouldn’t even believe, and I’d do it again and again. If you’re looking for an entertaining,  laugh-out-loud book with great characters and a realistic story-line, I’d rec this book to you a hundred times over.

♥ A very special thanks to Te Da Media and Net Galley for allowing me to preview an advanced copy of this title. It will be available Wednesday, October 17th. After you’ve picked up your copy and had a chance to read it, come back and tell me what you think about “the vullet.” *folds over in laughter*